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Thinking same thoughts

One thing I neglected to mention in my brief tribute to married life. After this many years, Natasha and I have progressed from finishing each other sentences to frequently thinking the same thoughts at the same time.

Quite uncanny, I should say.

There are obvious house-related things such as remembering an outstanding chore and going for it simultaneously.

There are easily explainable shared idiosyncrasies that flare up with a common trigger, such as when riding in a car together and being blocked at a roundabout entrance by a tentative driver in front of us, we synchronically say untoward things about the poor schmoe.

Or when we looked at one another during the fireworks display the other night, and said to one another: “Well, this is our first annual event in England”.

There are fairly transparent, but kinkier, examples such as when once changing for sleep in our bedroom with the drapes not yet closed and seeing a double-decker bus pass on the street in front of the house, we exclaimed in unison: “Now, those people on the upper deck just had them a good show!”

(Quick show of hands: How many of you just having read that, imagined yourself for a moment riding that bus? 🙂 Come on, at least whoever searched for this should admit that that would be very close to the desired result).

But then, there are truly supernatural ones, such as yesterday, when at a rare moment of quiet contemplation I thought back to some of the things that I miss about America. People who know me well (unfortunately, Russian background is required for this), know that I like КСП1. But that was probably the first time in over a year that I thought about how great it would be to go to a festival.

And what do you know? I talk to Natasha later that day, she relays to me regards from our American friends, and says in passing, You know, we talked about going to КСП together when we are back in the States.

How in the world did those thoughts coincide on exactly the same day!?

Anyone notices the same thing about their spouses?


1 For non-Russian members of the audience, КСП (which is loosely translated as Author-performed Song Club) is a term used to describe a wide cultural phenomenon of celebrating artists who write and perform songs with only acoustic guitar accompaniment. In fact, anyone who knows how to play guitar chords probably knows how to play dozens, if not hundreds, of songs that originate within this movement. And most likely, even dabbled in writing some opuses him/herself…

The Russian-American communities on both coasts hold regular КСП campground-style festivals, with well-known authors attending as guests of honor. For most of the attendees, however, sitting through the night by the fire with friends and singing – or listening to – familiar songs is in itself the most prized attraction.

Posted in Apropos


  1. Ilya

    While you can interpret the English definition of the word “Bard” to fit the Russian meaning, this is one word that does not directly translate. I.e., you say Бард and you think of a Vizbor or a Rozenbaum, while you say Bard, and you think of Sheakspeare… See the difference?

  2. Ilya

    Rock singer?…

    I am probably not well attuned to American music (of the ones you mention, I am only mildly a fan of vintage Simon/Garfunkel), but I have never encountered the term Bard used in description of such musicians…

  3. Ilya

    But I guess you are right, Kostyan. I decided to google Bob Dylan bard, and the very first result conclusively named him as such (there were a few others where the word was used in the proper context). From now on, I will revert to explaining КСП away as Bard Music Society

  4. geo

    “thinking the same things”… hasn’t happened to us yet. Ted and I have only been married for 3 years though, so I guess there is still a lot way until we get there. Sounds quite nice!

  5. Ilya

    Thanks, Geo! I have to say that Natasha is not all that happy about this phenomenon. Something about infringement on her individuality 🙂

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